The ceasefire won’t deliver our lives again – INA NEWS

A variety of noise – missiles and explosions, the sound of drones, shouting and wailing, screams of “martyr, martyr”. The breaking of glass, slamming doorways, collapsing buildings, fires blazing, thunder, lightning, wind, gasps of dying, darkness, and ashes. All of them are nonetheless in my head.

I left Gaza nearly a yr in the past, however these pictures and sounds are nonetheless haunting me. I left all the things behind – my dwelling, my pals, my prolonged household – however couldn’t shed the echoes of the battle.

Right here, in Cairo, I preserve reliving the trauma of what I had seen, heard and felt within the first 4 months of the battle in Gaza.

After I hear the sound of an aeroplane within the sky, my coronary heart races in concern, considering it’s a warplane. After I hear the sound of fireworks, I panic, imagining them to be bomb explosions.

I used to assume exile would deliver security and peace, but it surely turned out to be an extension of the battle.

The dying and destruction occurring in Gaza nonetheless dominate our lives. The sorrow, ache, and wrestle for survival that we thought we had left behind nonetheless comply with us.

We don’t dwell in a tent flooded by rain and we aren’t ravenous; the sound of bombs will not be actual – it is just the echoes of reminiscences in our minds. However we nonetheless dwell in distress.

My father, the breadwinner of our household, couldn’t discover a job for months. When he did, it paid a meagre wage. We face mounting debt and can’t afford primary requirements.

In the meantime, we have now stayed totally immersed within the horror of Gaza. The bombardment, the mass killing, the struggling in torn-up tents – it streams to us on messaging apps hour by hour.

All of the Palestinian pals I’ve right here appear to be in the identical scenario – residing in ache and despair, besieged by the battle.

“I want I had died with them as a substitute of residing,” my good friend Duaa advised me just lately. Her household despatched her to Cairo quickly after the beginning of the genocide to finish her research in peace. “I had a sense I wouldn’t see them once more after I stated goodbye,” she stated, sobbing.

Just a few days after she arrived in Egypt, considering life had granted her a greater alternative to review overseas, she tried to contact her household to examine on them however acquired no response. Nervousness consumed her till she acquired the devastating information of their martyrdom.

The ache was insufferable and she or he failed her research. To today, she struggles to pay the hire for her condo and advised me her landlord would quickly evict her as a result of she hadn’t paid. She is an orphan, alone in exile, and should quickly turn out to be homeless, too.

One other good friend, Rawan, had been learning in Egypt for just a few years earlier than the battle began, dreaming of a vibrant future. On October 10, 2023, an enormous explosion destroyed her home, killing her total household. Solely her mom, who miraculously survived regardless of extreme accidents, and her married sister, who lived in one other home, are left.

Rawan advised me she missed her father’s encouraging messages, the assist of her brothers Mohammed and Mahmoud, and the harmless laughter of her sister Ruba. She by no means accomplished her schooling. She has turn out to be a shadow of herself.

Nada, one other good friend, is in Cairo along with her sister. The women needed to depart their mother and father and brother behind in Gaza, as their names weren’t on the listing of individuals allowed to undergo the Rafah crossing.

In Cairo, Nada felt misplaced, alienated, and afraid. She tried to use once more for her mother and father and brother to journey, however the occupation stormed Rafah and closed the crossing. At the moment, she advised me that she felt like all of the doorways of life closed in her face.

Nada and her sister dwell alone, with out the assist of relations, and wrestle. The stress and unhappiness have taken a toll. Nada has misplaced loads of weight and now says she seems to be like a skeleton.

She has advised me harassment and concern of kidnapping have made them reluctant to go away the condo they’re staying in.

“We yearn for our previous lives in each element,” she says.

We do, however we additionally know that our previous lives have been misplaced. Even when the battle ends, nothing will ever return to the best way it was. Nothing will compensate us for that bitter loss.

The ceasefire taking impact at the moment is meant to place a cease to the preventing, however it’s unclear if it is going to finish the battle. Greater than 120 individuals have been killed since Wednesday when it was introduced. And we all know extra will die as a result of circumstances won’t enhance. Gaza is not match to dwell in.

Even when there may be lasting peace, the Israeli authorities will set its personal circumstances to proceed the blockade and harassment of the inhabitants. Reconstruction – if it takes place – will proceed for a few years. That is why we, as a household, have decided to start out constructing a brand new life in exile regardless of the challenges we face.

The views expressed on this article are the writer’s personal and don’t essentially mirror Al Jazeera’s editorial stance.